Hair Panties

Free samples are a great idea. It's such a great idea that I avoid going grocery shopping on sample day because I would buy everything I had a sample of. Somehow the samples are always delicious out of those little toaster ovens, but what I like even more is saving money.

Free sampling can work in a thrifty whore's favor though. It may sound counter-intuitive, but in the long run I have found that giving away just a little bit of the goods actually brings in more money in the long run.

My most productive free sample is something called Hair Panties. When I was a thrifty whore in the French Quarter, a lovely clothing designer named Miss Karina offered me a pair of her famous hair panties at a greatly reduced price. In the hot humid weather of Louisiana, walking around without wearing panties caused chaffing; and now, living in chilly Minnesota it's hard to think about going outside without layers on! The hair panties solve both of these problems without compromising business. Here is how to make your own:

Materials:
• 1 pair panties, preferably skin-toned
• Fake or real hair
hint: if you don't want to go out and buy hair, simply raid the stash that's been building up in your favorite hairbrush or save the findings from the wire mesh in your tub drain. For ladies that like truth in advertising, it's great to use your own hair for this project. Even better -- you can dye it to match your "drapes" if you're one to spend the extra dollars to color your hair.
• 1 needle
• Thread that matches hair color

Simply sew a patch of hair to the panties slightly above the cotton panel, a spot where pubic hair naturally predominates. If the thread is too visible, simply style the hair after sewing so that is covers the thread. Also, this could be a sign that you need more hair for your panties.

Again, this is a great way to keep warm in the winter or keep the area from getting chaffed in the warmer months. Being able to flash a sample to potential clients in either climate is a great way to increase your income. I'll go out for a few minutes on a windy day so that my skirt "accidentally" flies up for instance, and I'll have steady clientelle for two weeks straight!

Something else that may be fun to try: combine this with the do-it-yourself crotchless panties for bedroom fun!

Do it yourself Crotchless Panties

Step 1: Locate a sexy pair of panties. These are the sexiest I have, thanks to that great sale at Target last week.


Step 2: Locate your scissors. If you're like me, you'll find them in the bathroom since you trimmed up the bikini line last night. Go ahead and wipe them off, I'll wait.


Step 3: Okay, ready? Good. Fold the crotch area of your panties length-ways, like I did below. Cut out the fold with your scissors. You may even cut pretty shapes if you're feeling creative. It doesn't matter, just so long as you cut out the part of the crotch that is folded.


The end result: If you did it right, this is what they should look like. If you didn't do it right, you might want to ask a friend. You can't keep ruining good pairs of panties. These are awesome, and could get me an additional $5 for upping the sexy level. So, I'll put out, save money and make money. Win, win, win.