Every profession has an outlet for its practitioners to learn new skills and refine their trade. For example, if someone is a corporate executive, they would be able to attend various seminars on team management and marketing; a painter can take painting classes, and—well, you get the idea. Contrary to what you may think, the thrifty whores are not excluded from similar opportunities. Nope, we’re constantly honing in on tips and techniques to bring in more clients and to further master our craft in the sack.
I was reintroduced to the lost art of burlesque when I attended a performance by local burlesque troupe Le Cirque Rouge. I was blown away. The music, the costumes, the dancing, the PASTIES! I knew that I had to incorporate some of this burlesque magic into my repertoire. But, being the whore that I am, I had to figure out how to do it for cheap.
After much experimentation, I have come up with a way to make homemade pasties out of candy wrappers. Foil wrappers from Hershey Kisses and Dove Treasures work best for the basic pasty. Simply treat yourself to the chocolate (my favorite part) and flatten out the foil as best you can. Then contour the edges by folding them under to make the pasty round and more cupped. If you wish, you can decorate the pasties with stickers. I’ve chosen to go patriotic so I used star stickers on my pasties. See for yourself!
thrifty whore knows better than to give anything away for free
The great thing about Dove Treasures (as seen above) is they have a better color selection to choose from, but they are a bit more expensive. I generally use the Hershey Kisses because you can buy a huge bag for a couple of dollars, but I’ll splurge and go for the Dove after I’ve gotten a big tip.
Now for the grand finale: the tassel. This was the tricky part. I love the tassled pasties so I wanted to recreate them as best I could but I discovered that, unless you have a set of drapes you want to rip apart, tassels are expensive! I spent days trying to brainstorm what could be used in place of actual tassels. I tried using the tassels from graduation caps but they were way too long and hard to twirl. I finally found a solution...cat toys.
To make these pasties, I used a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup base and then glued the dangle from a cat toy onto each one. I used two different colors for an added effect when they twirl, but you are free to use your own creative license when you make your own.
To get the pasty to stick to your nipple, simply use a small square of double-sided tape. It works wonders.
4 comments:
You can also leave a little dab of peanut butter in the peanut butter cup wrapper to get it to stick.
Also, what do you use if you have dinner plate-sized nipples? Burrito foil from Chipotle maybe?
Jeremy: for those saucer-sized nips I would suggest using those mid-sized paper plates!
Pandora, as usual, you have inspired me. I can't wait to get started on my own pasties! There is something so sexy about using something intended for kitty, for, if I may, another kind of pussy.
Meow.
Oh, I really love those pink ones. Pandora, you're so crafty!
Jeremy: I have thought about that issue as well and would consider using cupcake cups that you can buy at the grocery store. Those come in many colors and also have a seasonal selection! Penny's suggestion of paper plates would also work brilliantly.
Penny: You're making me purrrrr!
Rocky: Thanks! The pink ones are my favorite, too.
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