DIY Condoms

First let me start off by apologizing for the lack of posts around here. Spring is our busiest time of the year, if you know what I'm saying and I think you do. We have not had the proper time available to devote to helping others, so I finally just had to use some vacation time to get a few posts up. It wasn't easy, either. Penny wanted today off to go to her sister's baby shower, but how special are those things for the seventh kid, anyway? We fought it out with a game of Taboo and I whooped her ass.


Now let me get down to the reason for today's post: DIY Condoms. Sounds scary but it really isn't. You know, condoms are just so darned expensive these days, and there are so many choices it can really confuse a gal. Red ones, blue ones, lubed ones, ribbed ones... it's endless. If you don't want to deal with the hassle of choosing stuff and you're put off by the price of even Lifestyles, I suggest you look into homemade options.

#1 recommendation: Glad Press 'n Seal. It's pretty self explanatory unless you've never packed away a leftover steak or something. Cut off the amount you want, wrap it around a willie and press... and seal. It may take some practice to figure out the perfect amount to use.

#2 recommendation: Socks. You may have to get real small ones, like kids sizes, but if you can find a tight fit, it works pretty good. This is a cheap option but it will require lube to work properly, so it could end up being the same as buying a box of condoms, unless you have DIY lube. We'll get into that another day.

#3 recommendation: I don't have a third one yet because I haven't started on my afternoon cocktails. I'll get back to you if there's a Volume 2.

Have your own ideas? Tell us!

Willies Aren't The Only Things That Should Be Covered In Rubber

I'm successful at my job. I'm happy to tell everyone myself, because I don't want them to find out by looking at my bed sheets. Honestly, I'm in bed a lot and, as a result, I wash my sheets more than the average person. (I'm thrifty, not unsanitary!)

Since saving money is also something I'm happy to do, I don't like the idea of washing more bed linens than necessary, i.e. the mattress pad; and I cringe at the idea of body fluids soaking into my mattress itself. So what's a working girl to do?

A rubber bed sheet, right? Sure, but I like to save money and rubber bedsheets are expensive! Additionally, I already spend my money on plenty of rubber.

The next best thing I've found are those handy disposable plastic tablecloths at my local dollar store. They're big enough to fit a king-sized bed! If any of you, dear readers, don't have a king-sized bed but something smaller, consider yourself getting an even better deal: two-for-one rubber bed protectors.

Just slap one on under your fitted bed sheet and voila! Your bed is as protected as the little willy you'll be pleasing later on.

Do it yourself Crotchless Panties

Step 1: Locate a sexy pair of panties. These are the sexiest I have, thanks to that great sale at Target last week.


Step 2: Locate your scissors. If you're like me, you'll find them in the bathroom since you trimmed up the bikini line last night. Go ahead and wipe them off, I'll wait.


Step 3: Okay, ready? Good. Fold the crotch area of your panties length-ways, like I did below. Cut out the fold with your scissors. You may even cut pretty shapes if you're feeling creative. It doesn't matter, just so long as you cut out the part of the crotch that is folded.


The end result: If you did it right, this is what they should look like. If you didn't do it right, you might want to ask a friend. You can't keep ruining good pairs of panties. These are awesome, and could get me an additional $5 for upping the sexy level. So, I'll put out, save money and make money. Win, win, win.